Refusing to Be a Man: Critical Essays on Gender, Sexuality and Social Justice - Feminist Theory Book for Gender Studies & Social Activism

I am a straight man.There is a whole lot of odd hate going on in these reviews. This book isn't about ignoring sexuality, it's about understanding that the base-level, "normal" male sexuality is hurtful and wrong. It explains that sexuality is something that is learned from our culture, and that men are able to leave behind this old sexuality for something better. The book never says "don't think about sex," it just tells men that there is a positive sexuality and it is worth having.MY problem with the book is that John Stoltenberg is a homosexual. He was married, yes, but to a lesbian. Neither was bi. They were straight gay.This to me seems like an electrician trying to tell me that my roof is leaky. Sure, he can see that my roof is messed up, but he has no idea how to fix it. This comes through in the text. Stoltenberg pretty much says "just be different than what is expected" and leaves it at that. He doesn't give specific hints, or otherwise explain HOW men are supposed to step back from porn and everything else. He just says to do it. That's because he doesn't know how. He was, from the beginning, NOT treating women wrong. I assume he never lusted after a woman. I, of course, don't know, but if he's gay all signs point to he didn't.Of course, he's right, my roof is terribly leaky. But he can't tell me much besides that.Anyway, good book, he's right. It just sucks that I'm left hanging like this.