Healing the Emotionally Unavailable Man - Relationship Recovery Guide for Women | Self-Help Book for Dating, Marriage & Personal Growth

This book is NOT about BLAME. If you're hoping to get a glimpse of who's at fault, this book will not make sense to you. Truth can be harsh but not Henry's words. This book was written with compassion from both sides. If you had stayed open and finished the book, you can walk away with great understanding of you & your partner's circumstances, and be rewarded with ways that will work in a relationship troubled by an emotionally unavailable or passive-aggressive partner. Like I did.The only reason I wrote this review is I truly hope it can help you as it did for my marriage.However, this book is by no means the bible. It forms a great foundation for understanding an emotionally unavailable partner. As every relationship can be complex with different dynamics going on at the same time, you will need to supplement your reading. I found "Living with the Passive-Aggressive Man" by Scott Wetzler a good complement for more indepth understanding. Together, both books SAVED my marriage.I read Henry's book when I was ready to leave my husband of almost 7 years. I had walked out before but stayed on when he made promises. Feeble initial attempts were made but his promises were unfulfilled. So our relationship dragged on.These behavior patterns were in Henry's book. One BIG takeaway from Wetzler's "Living with the P-A Man" book is setting CLEAR Boundaries and STICKING to it. Though I gave my husband a second chance, I didn't insist on sticking to our therapy sessions, something which he had fought me for years. Our initial gains in therapy were lost when my husband was laid off for half a year. We didn't picked it up again when our financial situation recovered. It wasn't a terrible marriage so we just put up with each other. We avoided real conversations to stay away from potential conflicts. But we were further disconnected. I am my husband's opposite, I am sociable, have lots of friends and love exploring. So I was lonely in my marriage.Both books saved me from walking out. We are now going back to therapy and will remain committed to it.This book can move your relationship to a more compassionate ground, and hence be more fulfilling. It will serve you well in understanding the source of the problem, point out how you got there and guide you how to overcome it from both perspectives. Henry wrote with compassion, yet she made no excuse for behaviors that didn't work. Doesn't matter which side of the camp you're on, you will be held accountable for your actions/ behavior.I finally saw the wounded little boy in my passive-aggressive husband. My anger melted. I was able to "respond" rather than "react" to my husband's carelessly-strewn mean remarks. I was able to express my feelings of hurt calmly instead of jumping in and escalating the stakes. I did not play victim but responded with compassion.Either he saw my resolute in leaving or the change in my behavior or both, he became less passive-aggressive. Now he is more engaging and reflective in his words. We are now communicating openly and honestly. Finally!For those who complained that the book does not teach you how, I strongly disagree. I was able to use her "respond" versus "react" tactics to my advantage. Her explanations were so clear that I knew what to do and got positive results immediately. Initially I had to hide this book because my husband would get upset with the "men-bashing" title. Now I was able to give him the book and encouraged him to read it. He was hesitant but said yes. He hadn't picked up the book yet but I am encouraged. I am thankful my man is already going to therapy. One step at a time.I am in a good space now and my relationship is growing nicely. Thank you Patti Henry.For those who did not resonate with the book, keep searching, you'll find the answer.